Aha.

Jeudi 28 octobre 2010 à 15:40



Devant tant de salisseurs de mémoire, je me devais d'apporter la Vérité à toute cette histoire. La vraie. Personne n'a été dupe mesdames !

Reprenons.

Devant un début d'année scolaire rempli de calvaires et de supplices, je me devais de retourner chez moi (et puis aussi pour d'autres raisons, en fait). Maiiiis désormais, le trajet Strasbourg - Rouen se fait en correspondance à Paris. Je me dois donc de me retrouver nez à nez avec ces gens jamais content, toujours en train de crier pour je ne sais quoi, que sont nos amis les parigots.
J'annonce donc à Stina, Satine et Pando, qui voulait par ailleurs ne pas venir le matin, (ha AH ! genre "le lundi matin, pour moi, ça veut dire entre minuit et 17h" et tout) que je (re)débarquait pour peu de temps dans la capitale.
Alors, évidemment, la joie s'est emparé de ces bougresses, Stina y voyant un prétexte pour faire des trucs avec mon iPod, Satine en profiterait pour donner le swap à Pando, Pando pour voir Satine et vice versa.

Mais, désillusion.

Alors que je vagabondais à bord du TGV et avec Place 54 dans les oreilles, le gentil monsieur-chauffeur du TGV nous a fait à nous, humbles voyageurs, la déclaration suivante :

"Bon les mecs, j'sais pas si ça vous emmerde mais là j'crois qu'on aura bien 25 minutes de retard, y a un connard sur la ligne il est bien collé là, même avec de l'eau chaude j'arrive pas à le décoller... Quelle connerie d'con j'vous jure !"

Stupeur et effroi.

D'une parce que j'vais avoir 25 minutes de retard au rendez vous, de deux parce que le chauffeur est ma foi fort vulgaire. (bon peut etre que j'ai arrangé le truc à ma sauce mais on s'en fout, humour, gag, etc.)

Alors bon, il y a des choses contre lesquelles on ne peut rien, celle ci en fait partie, alors je suis bien obligé d'avoir du retard. 14h :je suis à la gare de l'est, j'me précipite à Magenta histoire de choper le RER et aller à saint Lazare. Mais non. En effet, si ma marche aura duré 5 bonnes minutes, le RER lui, n'arrivera que dans une demie heure. Bon, plan B : le BUS ! Eeeeet c'est reparti en arrière, direction gare du nord ou j'arrive à avoir le 26 qui m'emmène à saint Lazare, plus rapidement que le RER. Je crois, d'après mes calculs.

Et BAAAAM ! J'suis à saint Lazare ! Et re-BAAAAAM ! Le Starbucks est en approche, et Satine et Stina sont là. Apa Pando... Déception pour Satine, qui en pleure presque, Stina dit qu'elle en a "rien à branler, j'm'en bas les yeukou moi, keskya".

Stina et Satine ont une façon très parisienne de parler, vraiment.

Alors, on attend Pando, on attend, et elle vient pas. Alors au bout d'un moment on décide d'aller au Starbucks quand même parce que bon euh hein, rester devant comme des glandus c'est pas le top. Eeeeet... Waaah. Le premier Starbucks dans lequel je suis allé était à Atlanta, après il y avait celui de Lyon, mais je me rappelle pas de la taille "tasse de café" comme taille la plus petite... A Atlanta surement pas, à Lyon peut être... Bref, passons. Satine et Stina veulent exploser la vitre pour bouffer une part de gâteau horriblement cher (comme tout le Starbucks en fait) mais, voyant qu'elles n'étaient pas seules, se sont bridées toutes seules comme des grandes et n'ont pas cédé à leurs bas instincts. C'est bien, vous progressez.

Et puis, on sort, on cherche une place qui finalement n'existe pas, alors je décide de me mettre sur un rebord, Satine fait sa mijaurée en balançant des "ouais non mais c'est sale gnagna", enfin bref le truc habituel en somme.

Et toujours pas de Pando.

Satine, qui connaissait l'adresse de ce chainon manquant, nous proposa l'idée d'aller directement chez elle. Moi, ça m'allait. Mais personne ne bougea vraiment du Starbucks. Alors, tel Moïse, tel un homme fort et vigoureux, je décida de me lever, de m'enlever ces chaines qui m'accrochait au rebord du Starbucks et d'imposer ma démarche chaloupée au milieu de la street parisienne. Mon charisme légendaire a fait la suite, les autres saltimbanques m'ont tout de suite suivi. Je suis un leader naturel.

Et donc on marche, on marche dans cette jungle urbaine ou les arbres sont de béton et d'acier, et on arrive chez Pando. Eeeeeet... Les portes ne s'ouvrent qu'avec un pass, qu'on a pas, évidemment. Être stoppé si proche, c'est assez frustrant. Alors on s'est arretés dans la cour intérieure du truc, et il y a eu les photos qu'on a pu voir. (d'ailleurs, sur une des photos où on voit Stina et moi, il faut savoir que juste avant, Stina m'a FRAPPE ! J'ai failli avoir 3 côtes cassées. Failli.)

Et on repart. Ouais parce que train, etc. Adieux déchirants, Satine voulant se mettre sur les rails pour éviter que je parte, Stina qui chiale comme si on avait assassiné sa mère devant ses yeux, et je m'en vais sans un regard derrière moi. Et maintenant... J'ai retrouvé mon chaaaaaaaaaaaat !



Espace tendresse/crachat sur voie publique

J'surkiffe/c'est de la merde, réagissons !

Par Stina le Jeudi 28 octobre 2010 à 16:29
Moi jt'ai frappé ! Rooh l'autre hey! Ptite nature ! xD
Par Satine le Jeudi 28 octobre 2010 à 19:09
qu'est-ce que t'as contre le langage parisien, naméoh!
cela dit je reconnais que je m'exprime comme une petite racaille parfois :$ le moi oral et le moi écrits sont deux êtres complètement différents.

mais C'ETAIT sale!

genre le leader naturel xD c'est moi qui avançais d'un pas conquérant en tête du groupe lol toi t'étais tout derrière avec ta valise!

c'est ça que tu appelles la vérité? tsssssssssssss

Enfin quoi qu'il en soit, je me répète, j'étais ravie de vous voir :)
Par pandorarts le Jeudi 28 octobre 2010 à 19:15
En fait on vous l'a pas dit, mais Pando n'est qu'une légende :p
ça va faire le tour cette histoire XD
Par lalileloluly le Vendredi 29 octobre 2010 à 4:39
??? Mais Mais .... Non ...

Mais .

non définitivement je crois que l'on y peu rien .
Par http://www.made-by-tine.fr le Lundi 25 janvier 2016 à 10:11
Comme je l'ai dit un peu avant, j'ai une amie (qu'on appelle Lia) qui est partie en Chine. On a vu ci et là quelques photos de moi portant le tshirt qu'on m'avait offert pendant cet anniversaire/départ (le truc avec ça).
Par http://www.bruno-anim.fr le Mercredi 1er juin 2016 à 4:40
Et là c'est le genre de trucs où on se lève angoissé.
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